This Tiny Spark

Oct 29

Birthday The First

by Lin

As of today, I am the mother of a ONE year old! I’ve begun to wonder a few things: First, how the hell am I the mother of a one year old? Where did my little baby go? And second, I’m really going to need to figure out a way to slow down time.

It is amazing how someone can change so completely over a relatively short period of time, just by getting a little bit different each day. I frequently look at Maya and wonder “who IS this baby, this child, this amazing person who calls me Mama?” She is so very much herself, and it is impossible to imagine her any other way. I’m absolutely crazy about her. And her Daddy is crazy about her too!

I hope you enjoy the slide-show I put together of some of my favourite photos from this past year.The song is Jewel’s Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star.

Milestones

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Oct 25

Things That Make Me Cry – Part 1

by Lin

I never used to be so weepy, but becoming a mom really opened the flood gates!

So join me for my new series, Things That Make Me Cry.

Part 1 – This John Lewis commercial

And it got me again just now because Maya watched it with her head rested on my chest…

Did it make you cry too?

Things That Make Me Cry

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Oct 24

My Digital To-Do Lists

by Lin

A friend of mine shared this to-do list on Facebook and it cracked me up. If I wasn’t busy chasing a (crawling) toddler around all day, I would definitely be checking off that afternoon nap!

My actual to-do lists are all in digital format, on my iPhone. I like having multiple lists with me at all times to jot stuff down whenever it occurs to me. Maya also destroys paper lists. My shopping list (the only paper list I keep) never makes it out of the grocery store in one piece!

Here are the apps I’m using to keep myself organized:

Home Routines ($3.99) – This is a really handy household cleaning app. Mine is set up to remind me each day to do certain tasks (unload dishwasher, start laundry, wipe counter, etc), as well as weekly chores (sweep, clean toilet, etc). I do a deep clean on a different area of the house each week too, and there is a checklist for each room. You can tailor this app down to the smallest detail, adding your own chores, rooms and specific to-dos. A new feature that I enjoy is the ability to customize the list online and then sync it wirelessly to your device. It also works on the iPad and syncs between devices. Very cool!

Errands (FREE!) – I looked for a good to-do list app for quite a while. I love Errands for it’s ease of use and simplicity. It takes me just a couple seconds to add a new task, or check one off. I like that to-do list items can have their own list. So I could add “Pack Suitcase” and have my packing list as the sub-list. Items can be sorted by importance and due date (clearly displayed on the calendar). The ability to use a stock photo or your own image is a fun addition!

SimpleMind+ (FREE!) – I guess the secret is out… I love mind maps. If I could describe how my brain works, the closest example would be a mind map. All those ideas, linked together, sprouting from each other like tree branches! If you’re like me (or just a little excited about mind maps), you’ll like this app. It’s very clear and easy to use. You can have multiple mind maps, each with little colour-coded ideas. I use it mostly for brainstorming blog ideas and knitting projects, as those are my two creative pursuits right now. I just noticed that it also works on the iPad, so I’m going to put it on there too.

Now they just need to make an app that would clean my house for me!

Do you use your smart phone or the trusty old pen and paper to keep your errands in order?

Technology

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Oct 23

The Highly Sensitive Motherhood

by Lin

I’ve always been “too sensitive”. I remember screaming as a child when raindrops touched me, and my mom would say “you’re not going to melt!”, which made me scream more because now I was afraid of melting! I had one taste of slightly sour milk in first grade, and didn’t touch the stuff again for years. One time I cried for an hour because my brother ate the last piece of melon. As a teenager, I avoided loud parties, choosing instead to spend time with one or two close friends. Between university classes I would find a quiet corner and listen to music to help balance myself. All of these situations made me feel overwhelmed, overstimulated and, at worst, panicked.

A few things have changed for me recently. First, I came across research by Dr. Elaine Aron on Highly Sensitive People (HSP) that finally categorized my anxiety into something I could understand and better manage. Plus it explained my sensitivity to noise, smells, tastes, textures, and more. What a relief! Dr. Aron has found that 15-20% of the population is HSP. Are you a Highly Sensitive Person? Is your child? Please check out her site, and try out the Self Test if you think you might be an HSP too. Her book and workbook are also outstanding!

And even more life-changingly (that’s a word now), my daughter was born.

Actually things started to change before she was born and I used the HypnoBabies mp3s. The guided meditations helped me to feel calm and centered. I was able to remember the calm imagery and deep breathing when I started to feel panicky and overwhelmed. My anxiety started to wane, and the depression all but disappeared. Of course that healthy dose of maternal hormones helped too!

Things have been even better since Maya was born last October. Being highly sensitive means that I am able to pick up on her cues and attend to her before she melts down. And in taking care of her, I’ve been more inclined to take care of myself. I love being able to excuse myself at parties or events to nurse Maya in a quiet room. It helps me from getting overwhelmed, prevents her from getting overstimulated, and gives us time to bond. Lovely!

What I thought to be a major personality flaw has actually been a huge benefit to parenting. I feel like I’ve gotten to know myself a bit better!

How did your past and character traits affect how you parent your kid(s)? Can you see any of your traits in them?

Parenting

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Oct 19

Wordless Wednesday

by Lin

Wordless Wednesday

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Oct 18

Article To Read: Notes from a Dragon Mom

by Lin

I recently read this wonderful op-ed article in the New York Times: Notes from a Dragon Mom by Emily Rapp. Please pop over and have a read, if you haven’t already.

Most people will never experience the pain of parenting a terminally ill child. But Emily’s article is not just about her experience, it’s about all parents and children, and our constant reaching for the future. What stuck with me:

“And there’s this: parents who, particularly in this country, are expected to be superhuman, to raise children who outpace all their peers, don’t want to see what we see. The long truth about their children, about themselves: that none of it is forever.”

So slow down. Enjoy your pregnancy without counting down to your due date. Snuggle next to that newborn while he still sleeps most of the day. Stop and let your toddler examine every blade of grass. And really listen to what your child, or teenager, is saying. Our persistent push toward the future threatens these fleeting moments.

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What did you think of Notes from a Dragon Mom? Will it change how your parent your child today?

 

Article Review Parenting

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Oct 17

Solid Food Before 1 Year Old

by Lin


When Maya was a few months old, I stumbled across Baby-Led Weaning: The Essential Guide to Introducing Solid Foods at the bookstore, and read it in an evening. I’d been dreading the world of purees. I had never met a baby that liked being fed strained peas or creamy banana goo from a jar. I’d planned on being one of Those Moms who makes her own baby food from organic ingredients, and has it all organized in the freezer in cute little containers. But then I had a 2 month old and I wasn’t even wearing a clean shirt most days, so that dream went out the window.

So you can imagine my excitement when I found an even lazier way to feed my child! Check out the Baby-Led Weaning book or website if you want the full details, but in short: you feed your baby what you eat by giving them chunks of real food that they feed to themselves. The child learns about textures, smells and tastes by investigating each piece of food. Choking is very rare, but gagging does happen and that way they learn how much to put in their mouths at once, how much to chew(or smash with their gums) before swallowing.

Maya is now 11.5 months and really enjoys her food! As you can see from the video above (she was nearly 6 months old there), not much food got into her belly for the first little while. I’ve decided to keep breastmilk as her primary source of nutrition for the first year, and slowly start transferring her onto more and more solids after her birthday.

Just recently has she shown preference for certain foods (carbs carbs carbs!!) and avoided others (nothing wet or slimy). I love that we all eat meals together as a family. And just recently she’s started signing “more” by clapping enthusiastically until more food is handed over. Eating with Maya has also curbed our fast food intake (she has yet to have any fast food), and now we eat at the dining room table instead of in front of the TV.

I know that purees are a great choice for many families, but the Baby-Led Weaning approach really works for us! And this happy little lady agrees!

Food

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Oct 14

Expecting…

by Lin

A few days ago I received an excited phone call from one of my oldest friends. I could hear him smiling as he told me that his wife was expecting, and that their first baby will be born mid-May. She’s struggling with awful morning sickness (if it lasts all day, it’s time for a better term), and they had to cut their vacation in Europe short. But they’re excited… and nervous.

“I need to talk to you about cloth diapers. And potty training. And what’s the difference between a doula and a midwife? Do we need both?”

He had so many questions! And like most experienced parents (hahahah!) I had lots of ideas to share with him. I wanted to tell my friend absolutely everything I’ve learned over the last year as Maya grew from a wrinkly infant to a curious toddler. I wanted to prevent my friends from suffering the same sleepless nights, the fears, the frustrations.

But I stopped myself. Because no matter how much information you get from friends, family, books, websites or experts, only you can teach yourself to be a parent. You will be moved to tears when you hold that tiny creature for the first time. And you will wonder if you maybe hate your child because they won’t stop screaming for some unknown reason… a feeling instantly forgotten when they fall sweetly asleep on your shoulder. And you will poke your child in the eye with the carseat buckle while trying to get them home in time for a nap, and you will instantly think about how hard her life will be, being blind in one eye thanks to her stupid, impatient mother, as she screams in your ear. Or maybe that’s just me (and her eye is totally fine, by the way).

And so. I love to share ideas, stories, theories, and what has worked for our family. We are all trying to do the best for our children, based on the information that we have. I will share what has been useful for me, in the hopes that it will make your parenting a little bit easier. We are all walking our own path, but the terrain is fairly similar.

Cheers to my friends who are just beginning to realize what parenthood has in store. May it be the most challenging and rewarding journey you have ever taken.

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What did you want to know when you found out you were expecting? Did you get any great tips from friends and family? Please share!

Parenting

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