This Tiny Spark

Apr 15

Once a Month Cooking – April

by Lin

I came across the Once a Month Mom blog through Pinterest. I was looking for ideas on how to stock up our freezer with food. There are days when I just don’t feel like cooking. There are days where our fridge is very empty because we haven’t found time to go shopping. And usually these days end up with us getting fast food after we put Maya to bed. She’s easy to feed… grilled cheese, macaroni, scrambled eggs. Add a few fresh fruits and veggies and she’s set. She doesn’t think it’s weird to eat peanut butter toast with a side of frozen peas. But I needed to find a more long term, adult solution that didn’t involve us eating junk food.

The website I found creates a menu, shopping list and step-by-step directions for cooking an entire month’s worth of meals in one day. Everything is packaged and frozen, with a handy label attached that tells you how to prepare it. You enter how many people you want to cook for into the spreadsheet, and it automatically adjusts the shopping list and recipe cards. Each dish you make gets split into two portions, so you will eat the same meal twice during the month.

It sounded awesome. And crazy. Simon thought it sounded like a great idea, and we were both excited to stop with all the fast food. I really enjoy cooking when I have the ingredients on hand, few distractions, and the space to move around. Scraping together a meal with a whining toddler at my feet has not been fun. So we decided to print out the 2.5 page shopping list for the Traditional April 2012 Menu and go for it.

One of my major concerns was that this was going to cost us a LOT of money. But buying in bulk is much cheaper! The $20 package of chicken was 5 times the weight of the $7 package of chicken I would usually buy. And with such a long list, we didn’t have time or energy to “shop around” and fill our cart with cookies or chips… this saves us money and calories! We stopped at Costco first, and then on to Superstore. We spent just over $175… not that much more than our usual 2 week grocery bill!

Everything was unpacked onto the kitchen counter. We gave the kitchen a good cleaning and cleared off all available counter space. That night we also chopped all the vegetables and put them into individual containers in the fridge. Ground meats were browned and refrigerated. I filled the slow cooker with chicken and set it to run all night.

By morning I was ready to go and couldn’t wait to get started! Everything went really smoothly and took less time than I’d expected. I was in the kitchen from 9:45am until 4:45pm, with about a 20 minute break for lunch. I made 10 breakfasts, 8 lunches and 12 dinners… all enough to serve 3 people.

What Worked:

  • Having the veggies chopped beforehand was a lifesaver! It was so easy to just measure out how much I needed
  • The kitchen scale is a MUST for this kind of cooking. Especially when you live in Canada and packages are marked in grams… you don’t have to convert every little thing. Just toss it on the scale and go!
  • Having a sink full of hot soapy water to quickly wash or soak any dishes
  • Putting the ziplock bags into large measuring cups before filling them up. So much easier than wrestling a half-full bag of chowder!
  • Baking the bacon in the oven the night before. I can’t imagine pan-frying 1kg of bacon! Yikes!

What Didn’t Work:

  • I really hated having to wash dishes almost constantly, despite having the sink of hot water. It really slowed me down! Ideally there would be someone who would just wash dishes for me all day. Any volunteers?
  • Next time I will get printable labels to use. I just printed them onto paper and taped them on. It worked, but took a lot of time.
  • I will READ THE RECIPES before I begin! I had to cook 2 of the meals the next day because I didn’t buy chicken breasts which were required for those meals.
  • Simon was really busy with work (he works from home) and with Maya, which meant he couldn’t help as much as I would’ve liked. Next time I will do the cooking on a weekend so he can help out more when Maya naps.

The Verdict:

I loved it! It was a crazy day, but that is how I work best. I can’t depend on having energy every day, but I can handle just one day of madness. All of the food we’ve eaten so far has been delicious! And it is much more balanced and healthy than what we were eating. Maya is also totally on-board. She’s happily eaten everything from the menu so far, and she loves having family dinner times again… not us eating burgers in front of the tv once she’s in bed!

So yep, I will be doing it again next month. I’m already looking forward to seeing what’s on the May menu!

If this sounds like something you might want to try, head on over to the Once a Month Mom site for their FREE menus. They have Traditional, Whole Food, Diet, Vegetarian, and Gluten Free options. There are also mini-menus if you just want to stock your freezer with 5-10 days of dinners, and see if this kind of cooking is right for you.

And if you know a friend or family member who is expecting a baby, stocking up their freezer with meals is THE BEST gift you can give them! Simon’s mom and grandma filled our freezer (which my mom purchased for us) before Maya was born and it was amazing to have a hot, home-cooked meal at the end of a busy day.

Have you tried once a month cooking? What meal planning works for your family?

Food

2 Comments »
Apr 10

Checking In (with a Video!)

by Lin

Oh hello, little blog! I’m so sorry to have forgotten you for over a MONTH (ack!)

Since a lot has been going on, I think it makes the most sense just to check in on what’s going on in our lives, and maybe share a few ideas for coming posts.

March was probably the worst month I can remember. It started off with Simon going away for a weekend, and Maya screaming pretty much the whole time. She hates when he isn’t here and it makes it very hard on me (I miss him too!) The two days that he was gone felt like years.

Right after Simon’s return, I ended up with an awful bladder infection that quickly spread to my kidneys. I ended up at the emergency room because of the constant pain. And of course I managed to check with Dr. Google and convince myself that I would die if I didn’t get help NOW. The infection hung on for a few weeks, and the antibiotics I was taking happen to bring on depression… so that’s how I spent the rest of March.

Simon’s 30th birthday was at the beginning of April (preceding my 29th by a few days), and we managed to go to Vancouver for a few days of fun. Maya spent a night with Grandma while we went to a movie, had a surprise dinner with 20 friends, and stayed in a fancy hotel! It was an awesome time and I was so proud that I managed to keep all those secrets from Simon for so long!

Maya is a full-time walker now and she is currently learning to run! She has new words and signs and gestures every day. I’m pretty sure she’s grown at least 2 inches in the past week. She is teething again: this time it’s all 4 eye teeth. So her mood is highly variable from day to day. I’m impressed by how much she can understand, and she loves to help by following simple directions.

It’s getting more and more challenging to come up with activities to keep her busy all day long. I am participating in a Busy Bag swap with my internet moms’ group, so I’m looking forward to having a few more fun things for her to do. It will also be nice to have summer weather when we can get outside more!

Our house and yard are really showing the past few years of neglect. It is hard enough to find the energy to clean the kitchen or make dinner after entertaining a toddler all day… but it is impossible when that same toddler is clinging to your legs and crying! We are hoping to try once a month cooking in the next week or so. I’m so impressed with the organization of it, and I think that it will help to just do all our cooking on ONE day and not have to find time for it every day.

On top of all of this, I also got a promotion at work! Now I am an Education Consultant with Tutor Doctor. I get to visit families and assess their children to find a tutor for them. It’s a really great company and I love the people I’m working with. I’m really just getting started, but I’m hoping this will take off soon!

Phew! So maybe now you can see why I disappeared for a month?! I hope to be back now and catching up with a few posts I have in my head. I want to follow up on Will Cinderella Eat My Daughter? and also write about Nurture Shock and Breaking the Good Mom Myth.

Thanks for reading my little update!

Musings

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Mar 12

Will Cinderella Eat My Daughter?

by Lin

Before Maya was born, I was really hesitant to buy her anything pink. I avoided the onesies that said “Little Princess” or “Diva in Training” or “Daddy’s Little Angel” I bought neutral browns and greens and yellows and I shopped a lot in the boys’ section. It didn’t seem fair that all the girls’ stuff had kittens and purses and shoes on it, while boys could choose from zombies, guitars and racecars.

Maya, playing with cars her Daddy handed down to her

But then it got annoying to have everyone mistaking Maya for a boy. And it was shocking how differently strangers treated “boy Maya” than they treated “girl Maya”… one man in the grocery store actually pinched her 6 month old leg and said “he’s a sturdy one, isn’t he?” and a few minutes later someone made a scary face and tried to “toughen him up”. Yikes.

And some of the girly stuff kind of grew on me. I have a weakness for poofy little skirts. And dresses with tights. I don’t wear these things myself, but they are SO cute with little toddler knees poking out. But once SOME pink and purple came through the door, it was like a tidal wave. I couldn’t really dress her in a pink shirt with orange pants… so in came more pink and purple. It was easier since almost everything she owns matches now!

I’ll admit that I worry about the princess obsession that looms on the horizon. I’m not alone in my dislike of everything princess: the commercialism (Disney!), the helplessness (“I’m waiting on my prince!”), the stereotyping (all girls like pink!). Maya’s toybox wouldn’t give away her gender: books, a baby doll, toy cars, puzzles, teddy bears. Her ears aren’t pierced (and won’t be until she’s old enough to ask for that). She is too young to realize which of her toddler friends are boys and which ones are girls, and they don’t really influence each other yet. I imagine I might get another year of blissful toddler time before Maya realizes that she’s a girl and she wants to define herself as one through every choice she makes. And I’m prepared for some of those choices to irk me, like when she wants to wear a gown all day or she stops playing with a toy that’s “just for boys”.

I understand that there ARE gender differences. I’ve seen little girls play with cars: there is a Mommy Car and a Daddy Car and a Baby Car. And I’ve seen boys play with Barbies they have imagined into swords. I’ve also seen children ostrasized by other kids for not playing like their typical gender. As parents it seems that we have to choose between going with the crowd and helping our kid fit in with her friends, or turning her into a gender neutral child who may struggle to make friends, and why? Because her parents disagree with traditional gender roles. You don’t have to go far to see what happens when parents use their children to make a statement, such as the case of “genderless” Sasha whose parents didn’t reveal his sex for 5 years.

Personally I think it boils down to more than pink onesies or racecars. Maya is going to learn gender roles from us, her parents. If she sees that either parent can give her a bath or make dinner, she will expect the same in her own marriage. If Simon shares his hobbies of mountain biking, rally cars and music, she will learn to love those things too. My husband isn’t waiting for a boy to share his interests with, and Maya will benefit from his knowledge. And when we have a second child, they will be treated the same, regardless of their sex.

Maya, in a dress, kissing a baby doll

To me it seems like boys may be getting the worse deal lately. I hate the “boys are dumb” shirts that are marketed to little girls in a pseudo-feminist style. So much of pop-culture spreads the idea that men are idiots and just need a woman to keep them from doing something really stupid. And the double standards are sickening: A mother who lets her son dress up like his favourite (female) cartoon character makes national news (I LOVED that blog post, by the way), but  little girls are told that they can do anything boys can.

A few friends have recommended I read Cinderella Ate My Daughter, and my hold just came in at the library. I’m going to read it and share some of my thoughts about it as I go along. It looks to be a really interesting and fun read, and maybe it will prepare me for the land of girldom that comes beyond genderless toddlerhood!

Do your children follow strict gender roles? How do you encourage/discourage this?

Article Review Book Review Family Gender Musings Parenting Society

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Mar 9

Reflections on a C-Section

by Lin

Moments after Maya's Birth

I recently came across Michele Zip’s Love Letter to C-Section Moms, and I’ve found myself going back to it again and again. As I read it, I could feel part of me relaxing, healing. She speaks about moms judging c-section moms. I haven’t found that other moms have judged me, but I have judged myself.

It is a hard transition to go from planning a home birth to having a c-section. I think I judged myself most harshly because it wasn’t an emergency c-section, but my labour just wasn’t progressing. I feel like I tried, and that I did what my midwives, the doctor and the nurses suggested. But I feel guilty for not doing more. I wonder if I’d eaten better and walked more, maybe Maya would’ve been small enough to move down lower and make labour happen naturally.

It didn’t help that I’d done my research about c-sections. I didn’t want it to negatively effect breastfeeding or bonding. I knew all the benefits of natural birth and I wanted that for my daughter. And for myself.

A number of moms I know who have had c-sections say the most damaging thing they hear when they complain about their birth experience is “But you have a healthy baby!” I heard this too, even from my therapist (who I LOVE), and I didn’t know what to say. What I want to say is that I feel like I missed out on a major life experience. I’m angry that my daughter wasn’t born “properly”. I feel guilty for not trying harder. I feel like I let her down and she was just moments old.

I’m frustrated that I have the odds stacked against me for a regular birth with the next child. Midwives in my city won’t attend homebirths after c-section, and it makes me sad and scared to think about birthing in the hospital again. My chances of a c-section again are very high, even if I work very hard toward avoiding one.

But each day seems to get a little bit easier. The scar is fading. Maya certainly doesn’t seem damaged by her birth experience. I know that I need to be healthy (for her and for me), and that I should allow myself to move past my c-section. Yes, I am happy to have a healthy child… but I’m allowed to take time to come to terms with how she was born.

 

Happy Birthday, Maya

What was your child’s birth like? Have you accepted it?

Article Review Birth Musings Parenting

1 Comment »
Mar 3

The Importance of Parenting Groups

by Lin

After Maya was born, it took about 6 weeks for us to realize we hadto get out of the house on a weekly basis. We needed to see other parents who were facing similar challenges with their babies. I wondered about diaper rashes, about gas, about how Maya would just cry and cry for no reason (thankfully those spells were rare, but still frightening). I wanted to talk about Maya’s birth. We wanted to meet new friends who knew why we couldn’t come over for dinner at 8pm, and who would laugh at baby poop stories.

The information package from the hospital included information for a Healthy Beginnings group that meets weekly in our town. Each session is mediated by a nurse from the health unit who is a wealth of knowledge on all things baby & toddler. Having an expert to see weekly, in a fun and casual atmosphere, is every new parent’s dream! A short chat with the nurse and the other parents made things like starting solid foods, continued breastfeeding, and sleep problems infinitely more manageable.

Simon was the only dad there (though a few other dads have made appearances since!), and there were lots of babies very close in age to Maya. In the 15 months since we’ve been attending the group, I’ve watched these children grow. No longer are they teeny bundles, snoozing away the meeting while their moms chat. Now they toddle around the room, “sharing” snacks and toys, knocking each other over, and making so much noise you have to shout to keep up a conversation!

Facebook has allowed a number of us to keep in touch outside of the group, and it’s a great way to organize impromptu outings or weekly playdates. But I really do look forward to the organized meeting each week, and it is a bright spot in my week to see familiar faces who have also been up from 2-5 am with a teething baby, and who understand.

So maybe you can imagine our outrage when we learned that the group would be shutting down. Sadly the government only looked at the numbers of the group… and while they are consistently helping a few dozen people each week, it’s not enough to be “worth it”. I was very sad to learn that prenatal groups are also being cancelled.

Parents who do not have support from their community and from other parents are not able to do their best. Parenting is HARD WORK. We know now how important the first few years of a child’s life are, and how parenting techniques are formed very early on. Communities that do not stand behind parents and young children are failing their citizens.

I’m thinking of ways to keep our group afloat, and to continue to offer it to new parents as well. I know how deeply our weekly group has affected me and improved my parenting skills. I can’t help but think there might be a family out there with a 6 week old that cried all night, and they just need somewhere to go where someone understands. Somewhere they can find babies the same age, who will grow so quickly (too quickly!) into teetering toddlers. And maybe, just maybe, somewhere they can tell their stories about baby poop.

Have you attended a parenting or prenatal group? How did it affect your parenting?

Musings Parenting Society

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Feb 24

Finger Tips

by Lin

I wanted a mandoline for years. Not the instrument, but the kitchen tool. I was excited about slicing vegetables so thin and even, and I dreamed of perfectly uniform yam fries. I put off getting a mandoline for so long because they are really pricy and it was hard to justify dropping $100 just so I could be satisfied that my onions were evenly diced. Then last month we found one on sale for $10 and snatched it up.

I realized when we brought the mandoline home that I was a little afraid of it. It was so sharp and so fast and it seemed complicated. Simon was the only one to use it for quite some time. When I asked him to show me how it works, I used it to slice veggies for Hot & Spicy Braised Peanut Chicken and it was awesome! Slice after slice fell magically beneath the blade as the vegetable quickly disappeared in my hand. And dinner was delicious.

It was so delicious that I decided to make the same meal again this week. I chopped the onion by hand and then got out the mandoline for the carrots. I couldn’t get the hand-guard of the mandoline to hold the carrot securely, so I grabbed the carrot and started sliding it across the mandoline. Carrot and my hand sliding toward the blade. And back. And forward. I adjusted my grip on the ever-shortening carrot and slid again. I knew instantly that something was wrong because of the sound. It wasn’t a smooth “shick” of slicing carrot but something… meatier.

If you’ve ever looked at a just-mangled part of your body, you probably understand how I felt in the next few seconds. First, confusion: “why is my finger all red?” Then, fear: “my finger is GONE!” and finally: “What the hell did my first aid class say to do in this situation?!” (I didn’t actually remember what my first aid class had said to do until hours later, when the adrenaline was gone)

The next few minutes were a whirlwind of activity as Simon tried to find our first aid kit (no luck), our babysitting charge was picked up by her dad (who was thankfully nearby), and we got Maya into the car to drive to the ER.

Maya went to play with our friends who live near the hospital while Simon and I waited for the doctor for a couple hours. The worst part was the freezing needles in my hand, but they bandaged me up and sent me on my way.

I wore this huge bandage on my hand for a few days. The fingertip is pretty gory, but not too painful. What’s bothering me most is my knuckle. My finger is swollen and the knuckle had 3 days of being held straight… so now it’s super angry at me if I try to bend it. Oh and it’s hard to change Maya’s diaper because she swings her legs around and keeps bopping the end of my finger. Ow.

Lesson learned: Use the damn hand-guard. Seriously.

Musings

3 Comments »
Feb 17

Maya’s First Steps

by Lin

Maya started walking last week, at just over 15 months old. Her timing doesn’t really qualify as late walking, but it started to feel late when all of her little friends were already walking, even those born 3 months later than Maya!

I know “late” walking concerns a lot of parents but I was mostly amused that my daughter hadn’t joined the bipedal world “on time”. It made me giggle to see my 23 lb girl slithering like a snake (her preferred crawling method) among teetering 11 month olds. She just didn’t seem interested in walking, even when everyone around her was doing it.

Her first attempts at walking were what a friend calls “baby tennis” – Simon would hold up Maya and she would take a couple lurching steps with no assistance, before collapsing into a giggly heap in my lap. And then she would lurch back toward Simon. Most often Maya would take one wild sideways step and then fall dramatically, the back of her hand against her forehead like a fainting Elizabethan-era lady.

Beginning of January:

It was only after her sleep situation fell apart that I wanted to really encourage the walking. I hoped that her early wake-ups and skipped naps were due to her excitement about walking. I’ve definitely seen her sleep disrupted just before major milestones in the past.

Then last week, I jokingly asked her “Maya, is today the day you start to walk?” while she played on the floor with Simon. He propped her up, and she took a couple wavering steps before sitting down and laughing at me. But by that evening, she was walking. A lot. She would sit herself on the step to our sunken living room, then teeter toward the couch where I sat. And after giving me a huge hug and a grin, she would toddle back to the step and start over again. Back and forth, back and forth. When she fell, and that happened a lot, she would shake her head and crawl back to the step to start again! Young children are amazing in their patience and perseverance… if only we all continued to learn skills in such a careful way! After dinner, she kept practicing, this time jumping into Simon’s lap.

Beginning of February:

The next day, she didn’t walk at all. But the day after that, she was up and toddling all over the house. Now she walks about half the time and crawls the other half. She can’t figure out how to get onto her feet without pulling up on something, but once she learns that, I imagine she will be a full-time walker!

(Oh, and her sleep didn’t really improve. I think she is trying to transition to one nap a day, but isn’t quite ready yet. So we’re just going one day at a time and following her cues for when she’s tired)

And yep, I cried when I watched her first, hesitant steps. My consolation is that she’s moving toward me, with her arms wide open.

Milestones Musings

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Feb 4

Right Now

by Lin

Yesterday, Simon and I watched a video of Maya taken nearly a year ago. There she is, 5 months old carefully studying the toys on the edge of the exersaucer. She furrows her brow and sucks noisily on her hand. Watching this video, I couldn’t help but shout “Oh! Let’s have another one!” Now I do have a textbook case of the Baby Rabies, but I really wished I could jump through the screen and snuggle that tiny version of Maya. So maybe it’s not so much that I want another baby to replace the one that grows a little each day, but I want THAT baby again.

I do get a little stabby when people keep telling me things like “Oh, enjoy her while she’s that age!” or “They grow so quickly!” because I know. I can see her growing out of her clothes. I watch her learn new words and new signs each day. Her personality is blooming and she loves to make Simon and I laugh. She fits puzzle pieces into their spots with hands that she could barely control a year ago.

Maya and I had a great Saturday morning together. We got up early while Simon slept in. She had her breakfast and worked on perfecting the sign for “toast” as she shoved peanut-buttery pieces of it into her mouth. Then we played in the still-messy-from-yesterday playroom, and she brought me book after book. I snuggled her in my lap, put my nose in her hair and read to her. Slowly. Because the only baby I have is the one in my arms. And as much as I would like to hold 5 month old Maya again, I can hold 15 month old Maya right now. And I will hold her extra tight.

Musings

1 Comment »
Jan 24

Staying Sane at Home with a Toddler

by Lin

Photo from Citril on Flickr

A friend of mine recently shared that she is struggling at home with her toddler. He is an amazing child, but definitely falls into the “bit of a handful” category. If you are parenting a toddler, I think you’ll understand her plight. Would you reply to this job posting?

Parent wanted for full-time work daily from 4:30am-8pm. Supervisor is likely to scream at you for some of the day; fluency in Tantrum-ese is a plus. Duties include cleaning poop off a variety surfaces, removing blueberry stains from clothing, and eating standing over the sink. Short bathroom breaks may be taken, provided your supervisor can accompany you into the bathroom and empty a drawer full of make-up while you pee. Overnight shifts are often required, with no prior notice and your daytime shifts will continue even if you worked the overnight shift.

Now that’s not to say it isn’t wonderful to be home with your kids, and many working parents would love to be home. But it is HARD. It’s monotonous and unpredictable all at once. Your day is at the whim of a tiny person with immediate needs, a low frustration threshold, and the ability to scream really loud. Whether or not you get downtime during the day largely depends on if your child chooses to nap… and then they may not nap alone, or without touching you. It’s cruel irony to watch your toddler fighting a nap when you would like nothing more than a nap for yourself!

We spend 3 days a week with two toddlers. Maya is just about 15 months and J is about to turn 1. Simon is working from home and able to help with wrangling them when they are out-numbering me! Most days the girls nap at the same time, which gives us a much-needed break. And they do keep each other occupied to a degree (5 minutes here and there). Plus having just one toddler the rest of the time seems super easy! Well, unless she’s teething, but that’s a whole other story!

Here are my tips to keeping your sanity while staying home with your toddler:

Routine – Toddlers really do thrive on routine. I find that when Maya knows what will come next, I can avoid a lot of tantrums! And when we have J here too, it’s a good way to remember when I last changed their diapers, fed them, or put them in bed. Everything happening in a predictable order helps the day pass by faster too.

Get Outside - Outings are a little tricky with two toddlers, but we do try to get out for a walk whenever the weather is nice. It has been a very rainy winter around here, so we don’t go out as often as I would like. My method for walking with two toddlers is putting Maya on my back in the Boba, and J into the stroller. The fresh air really does work wonders and it lifts my mood too! I guarantee once you get OUT you will feel more energized. Invest in a great babycarrier so you can just toss your toddler into your back and go!

Meet Other Parents – We’ve attended a weekly parent’s group with Maya since she was a couple months old. Some weeks, looking forward to that group was what kept me going! I would write down questions to ask the other moms (and the health nurse who runs our group!) It feels great to be able to give advice, or to talk to someone who has been where you are… and came through it okay! Just this morning I took a very grouchy Maya to our weekly group and she was entertained for 1.5 hours by watching the other kids play. She still wouldn’t leave my side, but it’s nice to be surrounded by parents who understand. I highly encourage moms AND dads to attend these groups! And if you can’t find a group near you, make your own! Facebook is a great way to organize parents groups.

Schedule an Outing - Check your local Parks & Rec for programs designed for toddlers. There are lots of options: swimming lessons, gym time, the zoo, the aquarium, children’s museums, etc. Many communities will put together a calendar so you can quickly see what’s going on that day in your city. If you’re just starting with outings, pick something simple and nearby. Work around naps and the usual routine. I think you will be impressed at how much your child enjoys getting out, and how having something to look forward to each week gets you through the rough days.

Take Care of Yourself  - Feeling tired, run down, frustrated? Check if you’re taking care of yourself as well as your child(ren). You make sure they are eating well… and so should you! Are you getting enough sleep? Maybe you need to go to bed earlier, or nap when your child does. When was the last time you had a glass of water? As parents, we are so focused on raising our kids that we sacrifice our own mental and physical health. PLEASE STOP sacrificing yourself for your child. Running yourself into the ground, and then trying to do even more is a recipe for disaster. Put “self care” into your schedule each day and stick to it! Pass your kids to your partner, a friend, a sitter, grandparents. And go “off the clock”.  You are not allowed to do the dishes during that time, or plan the week’s meals, or fold laundry. And please don’t feel guilty.

Have FUN – Put on some music and dance with your child. Build a tower of blocks and then knock it down like Godzilla. Your child is learning from you, so show them that there is fun to be had using our imaginations and what’s around us. So start a tickle fight with your toddler, chase her around the house, or roll a ball between you. This is one of those “fake it til you make it” type situations: once you get going, it IS fun! And your reward is huge: smiles, giggles, and special time with your kid. I love the ideas on Click.Pray.Love’s blog for entertaining your 12-18 month old! That’s a great place to start if you’re not sure what to do.

Be Realistic – Parenting isn’t all giggles and kisses. It’s hard work, and it’s okay to admit that you are struggling. Deciding to go back to work doesn’t make you a terrible parent. You aren’t abandoning your kid and you aren’t selling her short by not spending every waking moment with her. Different things work for different families. Talk to you partner, be honest with yourself, and choose what works for your family right now. If people judge you based on your choices, that’s their issue.

Are you at home with your baby or toddler? What challenges do you face?

Parenting Tips

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Jan 20

Growing Your Family

by Lin

I read a great post over at The Gnome’s Mom, describing how she was “wavering” about growing her family, and how to know if it was the right time to have another baby.

Simon and I decided years ago that we want our kids to be around 3 years apart. He felt like his brother was too close in age (18 months younger), and I think a bigger space between my brother and I might have helped avoid a number of teenage battles that we had for a few years there. Of course as adults we are both friends with our brothers, and the age difference doesn’t matter in the least.

Me & Maya June 2011

But I think it’s interesting how this is a new problem for parents. More and more families are planned around schedules. I know a few parents who have to work a certain number of hours between parental leaves at work, in order to get the full leave amount. They’ve factored that into their family planning. Others take breaks between kids to go back to grad school, or further their careers. Still others, by the time their child is 2, and they planned to start trying again… decide not to. Because life has changed and a two year old can be a lot to handle!

We have a few friends who are expecting now, and a few others who are trying (or at least, “not preventing it”). So far I’m managing to keep the baby fever at bay, but it’s a challenge! Especially when I look at baby pictures of Maya, and I see how much of a CHILD she is now. I wonder where that tiny baby went!

I will also admit that I might be trying to convince Simon that we need TWO more kids, not just one. I’m not sure he’s convinced, but we’ll go down that path after the second one comes along!

Are you planning to grow your family soon? What factors affected your decision?

Family Musings Parenting

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